Apple doesn’t like playing pretend

You know when you were a kid and played pretend, there was always that one friend that didn’t quite get it? You’d be charging around as a soldier on a critical mission and they’d be sitting cross-legged with a furrowed brow. We had a significantly more grown-up experience this week where Apple was that kid – our first app was rejected but not quite for the reasons we assumed.

The app is an extremely frivolous homage to Dennis Hopper who died recently. Basically, it emulates the bomb from the movie Speed – if you go over 50MPH the bomb arms and if you drop below then…BANG it blows up. You probably remember our eccentric villain Howard Payne explaining all this:

“Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?”

So, what problem would Apple have with this? It encourages dangerous driving? Nup. When the bomb explodes it pretends to crack the screen and apps are not allowed to simulate hardware failure.

What do you do? What do you do? For the record, we completely understand why Apple has this policy in place and all we have to do is take out the cracked screen emulation and it’s good to go. It’s their hardware, their store – you play by their rules and reap the benefits. Conveniently since we submitted the app we have decided to change it around and make it a more general novelty app rather than focus on the Speed bomb anyway…we’ll let you know when it goes live!